So Last Night...

Was pasta Thursday, which is my favorite day of the week, followed closely by pasta monday. So yeah, last night was pasta night so I made myself the usual pasta feast that I enjoy. Just so everyone knows, I enjoy putting a concoction composed of melted butter and garlic on my pasta. Sometimes it is known as buttlic. Either way, this is how I prefer to eat my pasta. Well last night at some point I spilled this concoction all over the dog. I felt terrible about this. As I watched my dog nearly chew her leg off while enjoying the treat, I felt less bad about it. So that was my story. I spilled garlic butter all over my dog and she has never been happier.

If I Had Two Extra Cents, I Would Throw It In...

I will admit that I don't follow everything that is going on in the world, am I proud of this? Not really, but hey, I am lazy. There is one thing that try as I may, I have not been able to avoid, and that is all of this hoopla about the 99%. I understand, for the most part, the reasoning behind what is going on. I actually agree with the protests. This is the reason why I thought I would say my peace on this matter.

I am by no means rich, loaded, well to do, the 1%, I am however, better off than most. I come from a middle class family. My dad worked his ass off at the same job for more than 30+ years. He got up every day at 5 in the morning and sometimes didn't return home until 7, 8 or even 9 at night. Worked weekends. Holidays. Everyday for 30 years, and I never once heard him complain about it. Until the day that his job folded because there was no need for it anymore (this was after the economy tanked, not before). Now my dad is pushing 60, making a little above minimum wage as a janitor and waking up at 3 a.m. to go to work. He still doesn't complain, he should. It doesn't bother him but it does me. I feel bad for my dad as I watch him struggle to pay his bills. Every bill he has continues to go up, yet his wage goes down. His property taxes have more than doubled in the last few years, yet his house has lost a significant amount of the value. He pays his bills on time every month. This is getting harder for him to do.

My mom has worked for as long as I can remember as well. I don't think she has ever gotten out of work at the time she was supposed to. She too has busted her ass for many, many years. She hasn't taken a pay cut or anything like that, but I have watched over the years as more and more of her pension has been taken back. Her job is in danger all of the time. She complains about all of this stuff. I understand. It pisses me off too. She has looked forward to retirement for many years. In the past couple of years it has come a reality to her that retirement is a myth for her. She may be able to "retire" from the job she has now, but will truly never leave the work force. Both of my parents will most likely die while working. This isn't a joke.

I feel that my parents did a great job raising me. My parents worked hard so we could go to a hotel the next town over to stay at a hotel. They never lived beyond their means. I never saw them buy a brand new car. They never bought all of the toys. I think my dad got a CD player with in the past 5 years and the only reason he has a DVD player is because someone gave it to him for free. The worked hard so that they could give me the things that I needed or wanted. I didn't get all of those things, and I have come to terms with that. My parents only bought things out of necessity when I was younger. My parents started to enjoy themselves a little more as I got older and started working and earning a steady paycheck. I have watched over the past couple of years as this has slowed down. I have seen the first signs of aging in my parents. Maybe it was always there and I just never noticed it. Maybe it was caused by all of the above stuff. I really don't know. I hate that my parents killed themselves for so long to have a better life, but because of the greed of others, they may never reap these rewards. And they aren't the only ones. There are plenty of people out there going through the same thing, some even worse things. People who spent years working hard. People who are now paying for the "mistakes" that others have made. At least they have social security to look forward to. That was a joke. Kind of. They may actually get some of that.

Now onto me. As I said, I think my parents did a good job raising me. They helped me out a lot financially, and I am very grateful for this. I learned a lot from the example that they set. I have never bought a brand new car, I don't live outside of my means. My wife and I don't have any kids, we want to, but it scares me. We don't buy new things. We don't have iPhones, fancy cars, own any designer clothing, etc... We use coupons, but generic products, watch movies at home, things like that. We are both college grads. We both have full time jobs. Yet we find it harder and harder to make it month to month. Why? I was saddened when the came in and laid off half of the people that I work with. Sad for them, secretly glad that I didn't meet the same fate. For that reason I kept my mouth closed when my work load doubled to make up for the short staff. I kept quiet when I didn't get a raise for 3 straight years. I kept quiet when Christmas bonuses become a four letter word. I kept quiet when my insurance costs more than doubled. I kept quiet when I realized that I made more money 7 years ago (at the same job), than I do today. Property taxes more than doubling, owing more on a house that I will ever get in return for it, etc.. When do I get to speak up? How long do the others like me have to keep quiet? I did everything "right" yet suffer every day for it, as do many others. I didn't lose all of money in the stock market because I didn't put any in there (I did lose all of my 401k, but hey, I am young, maybe I will make some of it back). I didn't buy a house that was way more than I could afford. I have tried to save as much as I could. Why is that the people who did everything the "right" way, are losing their asses?

I don't even know what I am saying here, does this make sense? Does anyone even care?

Where Does It All End...

So I sit here closer to my 33rd birthday than my 32nd, and I am left wondering... Where does it all end? My 33rd birthday will also mark my 20 year affair with my mistress that is punk rock. I have given more than half of my life to her. It makes me wonder.... Where does it all end? 20 Years of dressing like a 13 year old, 20 years of searching through bins to hunt down these records that have changed my life, 20 years of standing uncomfortably in a sweaty basement to watch some band scream about the same things over and over... Where does it all end? Okay, I actually stopped going to concerts many years ago, but that was only because I came down with a case of the concert anxieties. So now I am older, married and looking to start a family and I find myself wondering... where does it all end? I do have some sweet memories, a decent record collection and a few fliers left over, but where does that really get me? Will I be 50 and still trying to hunt down some obscure Japanese record that I NEED to have for my collection? Will I pass this obsession on to my children? Some times I consider being selfish and letting them discover this stuff for themselves. Either way, they will still think I am a dork, and they will be correct. While most people spent their 20's doing drugs, drinking and getting laid, I drove around the midwest asking other nerds where the punk section was. Oh well, no way to change the past. I guess I do have all of that to thank for my social awkwardness and my inability to talk to almost anyone.

So yeah, thanks Black Flag, thanks to the million shitty Oi! bands that I was obsessed with, thanks Negative Approach, The Avengers, Screeching Weasel, The Replacements, Misfits, MDC, Minor Threat. You all helped it to sting a little less that I spent high school hiding out in my room. You did get me chased and called a "fag" more than once though. Oh well, it is a bitter sweet affair we have had. Lastly I ask myself once again... where does it all end?

Nice Fur Coat, Oh Wait...

While on vacation we went swimming in one of two outdoor, heated swimming pools. While in the hot tub a overly hairy, somewhat older gentleman got out and decided to start drying himself off. Not really a problem or anything, except that I noticed halfway through the drying of his massive hair vest that the towel he was using was mine. After I threw up a little in my mouth I mentioned to my wife what was going on. She proceeded to confront the man about his faux-pas. He was very apologetic and offered to return the towel, which I thought was extremely nice of him. I think I am still pulling someone else's hair off of my clothing. Damn, that dude was hairy! Hairy, but nice.

V-A-C-A-TION!

So this past week the wife and I took a bit of an escape to the wonderful city of Boyne Mountain, Michigan. It was a fun filled week/weekend that involved winter sport like events. There were also some wacky hi-jinks that occurred whilst we were there, so I thought i would share some of them with everyone...

Along the trip I saw a few signs that caught my attention and I thought I would share them.

First off...

• "Let's get ice cream after you paralyze us".

This was a road sign promoting safe driving and wearing seat belts, still a tad harsh though.

• "Like a cult only with better Kool-Aid"

This was for a restaurant. I thought this was pretty funny. The humor is a little old, but I am still old enough to have heard of Jonestown and their like of grape Kool-aid. I wonder if Jonestown use of Kool-aid made its popularity decline for awhile?

• "Illegal activities will be prosecuted"

Not really an odd sign because you see these everywhere. I did find it odd that it was posted outside of a men's bathroom at a truck stop. I wonder what kind of "illegal" activities are going on in this truck stop bathroom? Wait, no, I don't.

• "Browntown 5 miles"

I just that calling a town "browntown" sounded a bit racist. What do I know though.

• "Homemade pasties"

This was outside of a restaurant that we stopped at. I have been informed that "pasties" are also a kind of pot pie. Whatever. There is also another meaning for "pasties" and that is the one I am going to use. I have also included a picture of that sign.

That's Quite A Mess You've Got On Your Hands, And On A Dry Run...

So today at work they gave us cinnamon rolls for Valentine's Day. I truly do heart me some cinnamon rolls, but this sweet nectar of the gods that was offered to us brought about some interesting comments. I feel that i can not keep these comments to myself. so here goes...

"Time for some goo"

Person 1: "Boy, my hands are gonna be really sticky when I am done"

Person 2: "It's okay, everyone is gonna be really sticky"

Person 1: "This is just too big!"

Person 2: "Just use your hands then"

"I am gonna be hurting after this"

"Lord that's drippy"

"My mouth is really gonna be sore when I am done"

Okay, I was the one who said that last one. I did. And it really does.

Damn You Cher...

When I was a lot younger I would watch this mask movie on a daily basis. I don't know what it was about it, but I loved it. I do know that my love affair with this movie had absolutely nothing to do with Cher being in it. Little did I know at the time, but Cher would play a part in my life later on. When I got a little older I became infatuated with music and would constantly watch MTV (there was a time when MTV played videos by bands that rocked so hard that they could impregnate someone just by the power of their rock, instead of just playing shows about idiots who are already preggers), of course at this time  I was patiently waiting for the new Poison or Mötley Crüe video. One day as I turned on the MTV, wearing my jean jacket vest that my Mom had so lovingly sewed my patches on to, and I am met by the sounds of a woman "singing" while dancing around on a navy ship while being roughly 1/5 of the way clothed. For the first time in my life, I questioned my sexuality. If this "woman" is supposed to "turn me on", something is deeply wrong. On a side note, if MTV played this video now, they would probably have less shows about teen pregnancies. So back to my story... this has to of been the worst thing I have ever seen in my life! It made me want o poke my eyes out! This may also be the moment that MTV "jumped the shark". So yeah, to recap... Cher made me question my sexuality as a youngster, and to this day I shudder every time I hear that stupid fuckin' song, and if I hear Poison or Mötley Crüe, I tense up in fear of what will be next!

Keep On L.A.R.P.ing In The Free World...

So last night I faked myself into main stream guy culture, and I was successful! The wife and I went to a sports bar and watched the UFC fight thingy. I could honestly care less about watching 2 dudes beat the piss out of each other. Either way, I enjoyed myself. The place was fuckin' huge! it was in an old movie theater and the put big screen tvs up where all the movie screens used to be. I walked in to them playing Enuff Z'Nuff. Seriously, what bar that isn't totally backwoods, is still rocking out hessian culture in this day and age? Either way, totally awesome and it had me geekin' out right away. Other highlights included Skid Row, Britny Fox (althought they didn't play the song girlschool, they still played Britny fuckin' Fox!) and a little Diamond Dave, DLR, David Lee Roth! Zippidy fuckin' doo! I guess another highlight was watching my wife get the drunkest I have ever seen her in our relationship. Neither of us are really drinkers, so it didn't really take all that long. She was getting pretty crazy and the night ended with her dancing her way through the parking lot and trying to climb her car. For all I know, the 80's metal inspired her and she was trying to go all Whitesnake video, and dance across her car. To recap: I went to a sports bar last night, DID NOT get punched, had a good time and watched my wife get completely shit faced. L.A.R.P. successful. Zippidy fuckin' Bop!

Oh My...

So this afternoon I grabbed my phone and for some reason the thing started freaking out on me. I would like to point out that I am in no way what I would call a tech savvy person. I just learned how to text message a month ago and I am in my very early 30's. So anywho back to my tale... so my phone starts freaking out on me and all of a sudden my wallpaper is set as a pair of cupped breasts. Well hello! I found myself a little excited (not sexually) as I wondered where these came from. Are they my wifes? No, I don't remember doing that. Could she of possibly taken the picture and it on there as a surprise for me? No, that doesn't sound like something she would do. Did someone else take my phone and do this? No, I don't know anyone who would dare do something like that to me. As all of these thought flash through my head,  my excitement quickly turns to fear, which turns to disgust as I start remembering this past weekend. What I am staring at is indeed a picture that my wife took. Unfortunately it is a picture that my wife took of me cupping my moobs. It was my friends birthday this past weekend and as a joke I decided to sext him a picture of my moobs. He laughed. I didn't when I revisited the picture. Oh well. They were quite full if I do say so and I think I will hold on to that picture for the next birthday that comes up.

Supergirl Has A Nice Rack...

So i guess I am condensing some other blogs that I have that no one reads to this one. Why have 5 unread blogs when I can just put it all on one. So here is a funny little post about my wife. I will add a few more here as well...

So yesterday my wife accompanied me to the comic book store. I am not huge into comic books, but everyone once in awhile I like to stop by and look. I tend to do things like this by myself as I know that my wife really could care less. Seeing as we were already running errands I asked her if we could swing by and take a look, surprisingly, she was totally on board. So off we go to the comic store....

So I am wandering around looking at things and there are only 4 people in the store; me, my wife, the owner and some random dude. So my wife goes her own way and I go mine. So I come walking up to her and I hear mumbling. I round a corner to see her standing there with a horrified look on her face. So I ask her "who were you talking to?". She starts laughing because she thought that the random dude standing a few feet away from her was me. He then proceeds to tell her that Supergirl doesn't and he laughs and walks away. So now I am curious, Supergirl doesn't what? Apparently my better half had told the random dude that she thought was me, that she didn't understand why all of the girls in comic books had such big boobs.

Knowing My Enemy...

So as I get older I seem to put on more and more weight. As a dude, it all seems to gravitate towards my mid section. This has caused me to have a new enemy. You may think that this new enemy would cookies, or candy, or something equally as good. You, good reader, would be 100% completely wrong. I should probably avoid these things at all cost, but I am actually referring to....(duh, duh, duhhhhhhhh) SOCKS! Yes, socks are my new enemy. Having a little more girth around my mid-section has made it more of a challenge to put socks on. When I was younger (aka skinnier) it was never a problem to get a pair of socks on. now I find myself coming up with new and creative ways to get those little bastards wrapped around my feet. I find myself lying in weird position on the floor, reaching behind my back, jumping off the bed while my wife holds them out, whatever it takes. I am pretty close to giving up completely on wearing socks, what will it matter, I haven't seen them in years anywho.

So socks... I think that it is time that our relationship comes to an end. As much as I would like to say it is you, I think this one is totally me.

How About The Time That....

I was skateboarding with a chick that I happened to be dating and a car full of high school dudes drove by calling me a faggot and throwing stuff at me? No, well it happened. It is one of the highlights of my life and probably the greatest story of me being called a faggot. This wasn't the only time that ever happened, I have become side tracked though. Well back to the lecture at hand... so this chick I am dating wants to learn how to skateboard. Seeing as how I actually used one of these contraptions way back in the day, I volunteer to teach her. I would like to point out that balancing and turning were about the only things I knew how to do. Rudimentary skills, I know, but no one asking how to skate vert. So anywho... we are putting around on her street when we decide to skate up to the local school parking lot. So as we turn the corner onto the street that intersects hers, there is a car full of teens that comes screeching around the corner. All of sudden I am bombarded with soda cans and taunts of faggot. Really? I am in my mid twenties and being verbally and garbageally assaulted by a car load of teenage boys. At least when I was younger and was greeted with the taunts of skate or die, the kids were my age, and they never called me names. I thought that as I grew up the name calling and generally douche baggery would cease, wrong again. At least they continued to drive away and didn't stop and decide they would be chasing me. If this would of happened, I would of pushed that chick in front of them and booked it. That relationship was doomed for a long time anyway.

So Last Weekend...

I went out of town and saw an interesting billboard. I guess I could also say that I saw that billboard about the little kids asking for ice cream after they are paralyzed. Still weird. Still overkill. This trip I also saw a billboard for a dentist that specialized in dentures. The sign read "Don't die with your teeth in a glass". I thought that was pretty morbid. By morbid I mean that I almost drove off the road in a fit of laughter. At least my teeth were in my head.

No Sleep Til'....

So last night was another restless night. I don't understand why my medicine keeps me up all night. I hope to get better soon because i am going on 3 months with no sleep. It is really taking its toll on me. I guess on a positive note, it will prepare me for fatherhood. At least last night I was productive. Instead of tossing and turning for hours, I actually got out of bed a wrote 2 new songs. Well, I wrote the music for 2 new songs, lyrics are where I struggle.

Did I Ever Tell You About The Time....

That I met Color-Me-Badd? True story. Not all that exciting though. So when I was younger my family used to go on vacations to hotels. Not hotels in different states, but hotels the next town over. I know, very exciting. So my parents and my aunt and uncle decide we are all going to the hotel for the weekend. So me and my 3 cousins (1 boy and 2 girls) pack all our shit up for a vacation to the next town over. To be fair, the next town over has a really nice mall. This was in the middle of my metal head phase, so my cousin and I pack up the boombox, a shit ton of extra batteries and our collection of Metallica tapes. So we spent the weekend hanging around in the room listening to ...And Justice For All. Eventually we decided to head out into the hotel. The place looked like Merry-Go-Round had thrown up all over (when I say Merry-Go-Round I mean the store, not the ride). So my cousin and I decide to investigate the crowd of girls lookin' oh so fresh. Upon reaching the center of this mob we are confronted by three of the goofiest lookin' motherfuckers ever! One of them was the dude with the hair, you know, the one that looked like Kenny G! So to sum this story up... you best believe that we screamed like all the girls that surrounded us and go their autographs! Man, I wish I still had that.

Jason's Deli Part II: I Return...

So I went to jason’s deli today, thought I would give them a second chance. So I ordered myself the grilled cheese and potato chips with a beverage. Much to my chagrin, the total was $4.50ish. This made me happy after last time. Then after waiting for what seemed like an hour I am delivered the delicious meal that I ordered! But wait... I asked for potato chips, not apple slices. I give up on this place. Fool me once, shame on me....fool me twice, I hate you and will never return to your establishment again even if you give me free stuff to try and make me forget about the wrong doings that you have caused me.